sometimes you can't disagree that life's getting
too crap, too fast-paced, too fake to be true?

...

I don't know what's wrong with the teachers,
I don't know what's wrong with my friends,
I don't know what's wrong with me.

What's wrong with RVHS anyway?
from the outside, it seems like you can have everything.
yet.. you won't get anything.

Teachers.
they love droning on and on. they love making us suffer. they didn't let us have a chance to explain. they are biased. they inform us about things always at the last minute. they flirt around in front of us. they make us do homework in 1 day, yet take 4 months to mark it. they destroy our freedom. they pick on those they don't like. they crammed things into our head without asking whether we understand. they read straight from the text, as if we can't read ourself. they didn't build our foundation, and love talking about chim stuff. they love confusing us. they throw their temper at us, when we did nothing wrong. they had a bad day, they throw our worksheets around. they had a bad day, they scould us. they had a bad day, they write shit into management diary. they claimed that if we've any personal problems can approach them, but they're never approachable. they are sarcastic.

basically. all the bad stuff.
i can't possibly go on, or not i won't finish.

my homework is never ever done on time. I mean it.
it's always last minute work. but that's not the point. It's just that they should understand we're not their guinea pigs. We're humans too. We're merely a teenager, still a child in our hearts. All we want is to have some fun, to have some freedom. We're not asking for much, are we?

you can still give us homework, but not crammed us with it. you don't have to make up a excuse like, ''oh wow! a long holiday still ain't enough for you? what've you been doing?'' Okay, we admit. we're slacking, and i for one think that we've done no wrong. you teachers love making up this type of excuse, even i think i've more creativity than you! Can you even give us this ''ressurance'' that your childhood days are like this?

i don't think so.
just because we're more modern, more kiasu.
doesn't give you a right to lock us into this study room, like we're some prisoner.

childhood days ain't mean't to be like this.

friends.
either there's something wrong with me. or there's something wrong with them. our ruined friendship. the mask that we wore everyday. the great acting all of us put up. the jealousy and lies. the betrayer in our eyes. I'm really sick of all this okay? I'm sure you're sick too. and you're probably thinking, ''oh there she goes again. im so darn sick of her la!''

i assure you.
this is how I'm feeling too.
I think I'm more of a victim than you. but AHA! here's something.
I'm a bitch, i admit that.
I act, i admit that.
there's something more to the mask on my face, i admit that.

i can never be true. complete. a whole. unless chang&lo are with me.

chiong hwk. slept only 3 hours.
all drousy today. sleptsleptslept.
NCC no strenght. got stitch after a while.
sleptsleptslept.

im really tired..